


Steel and Ashes

by Monochromatic_Butter



Category: The Letter (Visual Novel)
Genre: Brotherly Love, Friendship/Love, Insomnia, One Shot, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Racism, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24499666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monochromatic_Butter/pseuds/Monochromatic_Butter
Summary: After everything, Ashton is pretty sure there is a lot he doesn't understand about the friend he loves so much.So he asks. And Zach responds.
Kudos: 6





	Steel and Ashes

It is a cold night when Ashton decides to visit him. 

Of course, he's being unpredictable as always and showing up late in the dead of night, but Zach just opens the door and lets him in anyways. 

And of course Zach is still up past 2AM and Ashton hates it. 

The detective hops into the sofa and eats all the leftover fries while Zach asks what's up.

"What's up? _You_ tell me what's up."

His friend looks at him and of course he has these puppy eyes. Not exactly hurt, just surprised with so much straightforwardness.

Ash isn't one to open up. Zach likes to see himself as the opposite — open mind, open heart, transparent mind and intentions. One of these are true, since he is the embodiment of a gentle giant, but the photographer is far from sincere about _himself._

Right now, he just seems genuinely confused. Ashton has no idea at all how to ask. Being too honest had been a problem for a while, this time for a different reason.

"Need to get something out of your chest? You know?"

"You mean my insomnia?" 

Wow. Was he that obvious?

"Yeah." Ash replies, unsure, as if taking steps into a mine field. 

Zach hesitated, so Ash hesitates more and everything in the room, even the air, seems to be hesitating. The detective could physically feel a boundary being pushed. 

"Are you sure you want to hear? I don't like weighing this stuff on you all."

"Only if you feel like talking."

Firm, but reassuring. A pat on the back without hands. 

The photographer sits down and stays silent for a bit. His words begin soft and touched, as if remembering something he treasured, and Ash listened with all the attention in the world.

Then came the tears.

The torment. Gunshots. A racist asshole that none of them would meet. Then pain, loneliness, little to no comfort trying to find a new life.

Therapy, medicine, suicidal thoughts, heavy insomnia. Friends. 

A few of them. 

Ashton wasn't sure he felt this angry before. He knew a lot of racist assholes and every one of them made him feel like committing murder, but he never heard of something that cruel and uncalled for. 

Taking a deep breath as if to clear his lungs from that boiling feeling, sadness and worry came right after. Zach didnt cry a lot and still, the deep sadness rooted into his soul was visible.

He would've never imagined someone that sweet had endured so much pain.

If he needed to shot every racist fuck in the world to rewrite the past and give Zachary a happy life, he would. 

Ash doesn't hug him despite his heart telling to do so. A hand on Zach's thigh is already more contact than normal. The hand is assuring enough, and comforting words come out of his mouth.

Eventually, the torment transitions to a weak smile and the photographer gets up. He decides they should do something to lighten the mood and the detective agrees wholeheartedly.

Watching him leave, Ashton feels somewhat disconnected from reality. How wasn't Zach bitter? How there wasn't any anger in him? How he wasn't a jerk after suffering so much?

He is strong. It's like he's a door of steel, while Ashton himself became a pile of ashes who could never shapeshift into someone else.

Becca would be proud of that rather poetic thought.

Ash snaps back to the moment. Zach is walking back with a pillow and a clean blanket. 

"Thank you, Ash." he says in a soft voice. The detective feels an urge to ask why, then remembers how everyone around him feels safe just _being heard_. Instead of a teasing reply, he just grabs the blanket being thrown at him. 

"You're welcome." he hesitates. Maybe saying what crossed his mind was too much contact. For a moment, Ashton was afraid, then _fuck it._ "Always."

Zach's response is bringing a warm drink for both of them. 

That night, none of them is haunted by nightmares. 


End file.
